she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
