Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
