hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
