I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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