I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
