Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
