you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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