The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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