He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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