My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
