Who wears a wallet chain?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
