You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
