we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
