it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
