Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
