You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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