Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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