nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
