talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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