and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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