Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
