He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
