I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
