Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
