So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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