I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize