Buhtt sex?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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