I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
