We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
