I think I died a long time ago.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
