dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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