Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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