I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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