wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
