one might say we're banned from that church
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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