You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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