Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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