I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
