She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
