If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
handjob tips. give me some.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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