so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
