All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
