isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
