the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
