Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize