He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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