I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
