Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize