she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
