I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
