Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize