i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
