We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize