Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize