Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
