I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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