how can u be prego again
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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