i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
