Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize