just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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