So drunk its hurt
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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