hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I understand Curling. That high.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
