I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
