And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
